In defense of the Yangzhong Puffer Fish

gold fish mascot

“Good afternoon, Cadre.”

“Good afternoon, sir.”

“So we got your city budget.”

“Very good, sir. Was it well received?”

“Yes, it was submitted punctually.”


“I just have one question.”

“Please, go ahead.”

“What exactly did you allocate this RMB 70 million for?”

“That? Oh, that was for the fish.”

“The fish?”

“Yes, the gold fish monument. Construction is almost finished. It’s kind of like a city mascot.”

“A mascot?”

“Yes, like a mascot.”

“A giant gold puffer fish mascot.” (Pause.) “Is it big?”

“You haven’t seen it?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Well, it is very big, sir.”

“How big?”

“62 meters tall, 90 meters long, and 44 meters wide. And the viewing platform is 15 stories high.”

“Wow. That’s a really big puffer fish.”

“Yes sir.” (Smiles proudly.) “You must come to the groundbreaking ceremony.”

“Will there be fireworks?”

“Of course, sir. You will be my guest.”

“Good.” (Pause.) “You said there was a viewing platform?”

“Yes sir.”


“It’s in the belly.”

“The belly?”

“The belly of the puffer fish, yes.”

“How is the view?”

“Glorious, sir. It is a very nice view.”

“Well that’s good.”


“So you spent how much money on this project?”

“RMB 70 million, sir.”

“That’s a lot of money.”

“Yes.” (Pause.) “Did I tell you about the lights?”

“The lights?”

“Yes, the lights.”

“No, you didn’t mention the lights.”

“Oh! Well, the lights are very beautiful.”

“Are they colorful?”

“Of course, sir. Very colorful.”

“Well that’s good.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Did you go over budget?”

“No sir. RMB ten million under budget, in fact.”

“So you planned on spending RMB 80 million on the giant puffer fish mascot?”

“Yes sir.”

“Do you think maybe such spending is wasteful?”

“No sir, I do not.”

(Pause.) “I really like puffer fish.”

“Me too, sir.”


H/T Chris Buckley


2 Responses to In defense of the Yangzhong Puffer Fish

  1. Alhabal
    October 2, 2013 at 2:44 pm #

    they should have made it so it could puff out every Oct 1

    • Roger
      October 3, 2013 at 3:27 am #

      OMG that would have been amazing. What an idea, Alhabal.

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