Having a m(o)ustache

For me, having a mustache is a bit like having a gun: everybody knows you have one, but you don’t want to have to pull it on a motherfucker.

But if anyone ever caught me in a moment of weakness, listening to the Fleet Foxes and trimming my banzai tree, I would. (Theoretically.)

It should be noted that Phil has never been able to grow a mustache. His facial hair — how to put this? — thins, just below the nostrils, leaving his philtrum smooth as a butternut squash on race day.


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2 Responses to Having a m(o)ustache

  1. Alhabal
    August 28, 2013 at 11:19 am #

    A moustache is scoring the winning goal in your tiny ex-colony’s final, impossible, earth-shattering march to the championship against the hated oppressor, and then having that aura, the one your nation’s people give you, every time you stroke your face.

    but for real, a moustache has given me nothing but grief, women flee before me, or worse, are polite as they inch away.

    • Roger
      August 29, 2013 at 12:37 am #

      Having a mustache is a bit like a man shaving his legs – part of him may be a little embarrassed, but mostly he’s emboldened in the knowledge that he is his best him.

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