Five things I don’t trust

1. Emoticons.

2. Hotmail accounts.

3. Phil.* 

4. Astroturf.

5. Anyone.

*(Phil is trolling the comments section again. See below for more reasons that he is an assface.)

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7 Responses to Five things I don’t trust

  1. Sascha
    March 31, 2012 at 5:03 pm #

    #6. Best in Show awards for baijiu

    • Roger
      April 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm #

      Nice one, Sascha. How about:
      #7: Chinese upholstery.
      #8:Getting quoted “friend price”, anywhere, but specifically on a street corner or at a Chinese market.

  2. Phil
    April 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm #

    Seriously, rog? Seriously? Again with this shit.

    I am certainly more trustworthy that someone with a hotmail account, for the love of god. And emoticons? Jesus.

    Look bud, it got ugly there for a bit in Guangxi, I get it. I know, whatever, you’ve been (I don’t know how to put it) bureaucratically limited in movement and employ- but come on man. Leave me out of your site. It ain’t got shit do with your beef with me.

    We were the best of friends, friend. You don’t have to like me, but to smear in every blast of your site? Come on man. This ain’t middle school.

    • Roger
      April 4, 2012 at 2:10 pm #

      Hey Phil? Phil? Can you hear me yelling? Oh. No, you can’t. That’s because you’re free to travel the world at your leisure, clutching your reassuring blue passport (mine too, for all I know). I am in China, stuck like you used to get between your desk and the chair in Ms Robson’s class (isn’t it nice to remember how much everybody used to make fun of you?). So you can’t hear me.

      But just for the record, Phil, you’re right it did get a little rough in Guangxi. For you.

      For me, things got rough in Guangxi, and then Guizhou also. Oh, and then in Yunnan, too. Sichuan and then Chengdu was looking pretty rough as well, but thankfully Ramses pulled me out of shithole you sent me into.

      So how about this, Phil: You manage whatever hellish financial firm who’ll still have you, continue to walk this earth with a face that appears not unlike a butt, and in the meantime, try this on for size: Go fuck yourself.

      You are not my bud, bucko.

  3. Knox
    April 6, 2012 at 5:13 am #

    1. Piano wire
    2. Unsecured phone calls
    3. Bow-ties (sans tuxedo)
    4. Business partners
    5. Silencers

  4. Fred Shasta
    April 13, 2012 at 5:47 am #

    1. My organs
    2. Candy that I myself did not make in my kitchen
    3. “Chinese rock”
    4. Mark E. Smith
    5. Chinese “R&B”

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