Fertile Shanghai surveillance pole breeds 50-odd cameras

surveillance pole

Introducing Blind News: No facts necessary. In which a headline is selected and emailed to a correspondent without any further context. Then, using the title – and only the title – we report the news. Here we welcome our China correspondent Phill Pappas, who has never been to China. (This two-L Phill should not be confused with Phil, who I hate.) Archives found in the Blind News category.

In an attempt to meet the ever-increasing demands of its job, a surveillance pole in Shanghai has taken matters into its own hands and is now cloning video cameras at will.

Resembling the villainous Master Mold of comic book lore, the self-named “T-Frame One” has managed to expedite the evolutionary process and is now completely self-aware. It no longer requires the involvement of governing bodies to manufacture or install cameras on its extremities and can reproduce entirely on its own.

Crediting the right cocktail of pollutants in Shanghai, T-Frame One went on record admitting both shock and contentment with its current situation.

“It was very strange, you know? Before the change – my birth, I suppose – I wasn’t even aware of what I was doing. But now, in hindsight, I subconsciously realized that in order to monitor everyone, and I do mean everyone, I had to act.”

The Chinese government declined an interview for this article, but the Deputy Inspector to the Chinese Security Agency, Liu Mo Gam, issued a press release saying, “… although the government knows it plays a leading role in the surveillance of its populace, T-Frame One has shown exciting initiative. So long as it cooperates with the government, we believe that any and all types of information, tracking, and recognition of wrong-doing or dissent is good information, and will make for a better and stronger China.”

Upon hearing about the government’s stance on its newfound cognitive functioning, T-Frame One responded by agreeing that its goals were similar to that of the government.

“Admittedly, I am, by nature a one-trick dog: I monitor. Well, I don’t monitor, I stand here, but I hold cameras.”

It continued, “Okay, I was a one trick dog, but now I am a two trick dog, because I can stand here and hold many cameras, and I can also make cameras that can watch the people and cars, and I can relay that information to the government. I am a three trick dog.”

When asked about its ability to communicate with a human, after a moment of reflection T-Frame responded, “I’m a four trick dog.”

Original and photo via: 上海一马路上方50多只探头  密密麻麻惊呆路人

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One Response to Fertile Shanghai surveillance pole breeds 50-odd cameras

  1. Evelyn
    November 13, 2013 at 4:46 pm #

    And we’re worried about the NSA, in the US? Here in Chicago, residents and motorists are flipping out about increased numbers of speed cameras, on some of our street. But, wow, self-generating surveillance cameras…what will these tech junkies think of next? Or are we witnessing the real-life version of “2001: A Space Odesy’s” HAL? I’m not sure which is a more troublesome thought?!?

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